It's All In The Rye

11th November, 2008
Tuesday
Carriere, Mississippi

Here in the South, when winter sets in, many of us who own pasture land find that we must plant a winter grass - rye - so that our horses, cows, and other grazing livestock, have a supply of roughage. It is either that or buy hay. And since I am trying to no longer buy hay, today I will be seeding with rye part of the pasture so that the horse and donkey will have something to eat other than their feed.

From what I figure it will cost $65 an acre between the seed and the fertilizer, and for the winter I am only going to do a couple of acres. Next year, when we have the tractor, I will do more, but for now that should do it.

The weather has been a bit on the chilly side the last couple of days, but it is much better than Upstate New York at this time of year. The shorter days are still bothersome, especially now that overtime for Jimmy has kicked into gear - he leaves home when it is dark and it is dark by the time he pulls in the driveway. That makes for a long day for me.

As I was explaining to him last night, before, when he was out of town, out of state, out of the country, I knew what to do by myself. Read a book, watch a movie, email friends. I would spend some time at the barn, plant some flowers, toss the Frisbee. I knew I was going to bed alone and I was comfortable with my own company.

I am still comfortable with my own company, but now, with his departure and arrival as part of the day's rhythm, I am out of sync, in a suspended state waiting for either to happen. I know this is temporary until I adjust to our new roles, our new Paradise Lost, our new time zone.

But it's presence is an enigma to me. I can stay busy - there is much to do, but I also am not busy, sometimes just in a dream all by myself. I am sometimes confused by this lack of focus and clear direction, but at the same time it is as if I need that now in my life given all the chaos of the last few years.

Today, I will not only sow the rye seed, but I will load sand onto my truck and from there, into the barn to level the floor and keep E & E dry.